


Blood Red Tulips

by MalecAcid



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst with a Happy Ending, Background Clary Fray/Isabelle Lightwood, Background Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, Bisexual Jace Wayland, Emotionally Repressed, First Kiss, Hanahaki Disease, Hurt Jace Wayland, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Light Angst, Love Confessions, M/M, Near Death, POV Jace Wayland, POV Third Person, Pansexual Simon Lewis, Protective Alec Lightwood, Unreliable Narrator, Unrequited Love, Vomiting, but not really, it's mostly just coughing, magnus seems kinda mean but he's really just tired of everyone's shit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-17
Updated: 2021-02-17
Packaged: 2021-03-12 21:20:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,906
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29515923
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MalecAcid/pseuds/MalecAcid
Summary: "That vampire girl? At the Hunter's Moon that one time?""Nah, she was a bad kisser." Alec glared at him. "What!""What about Meliorn?""No, no, no, that was just a one time thing."Alec raised an eyebrow."It was!"ORJace comes down with Hanahaki, and he can't figure out what the fuck is going on.
Relationships: Alec Lightwood & Jace Wayland, Magnus Bane & Jace Wayland, Maia Roberts & Jace Wayland, Simon Lewis/Jace Wayland
Comments: 4
Kudos: 75





	Blood Red Tulips

**Author's Note:**

> So!! This is my first time ever writing a Hanahaki au??? 
> 
> I've been wanting to do one for a while, and I just happened to be missing the Shadowhunters gang when I was suddenly inspired at five in the morning kfjzjdjzj 
> 
> Jace coughs up a good amount of blood in this, so beware of that!! And like, there's not really any vomiting, but just for anyone with really bad emetophobia beware of just like,,, severe coughing and blood and flowers and petals coming up when he coughs? It is a hanahaki au so I feel like that is to be expected tho JCJZJDJXJ 
> 
> My favourite hoe livtontea (Liv) helped me pick out the title and I love them v much 😌😌
> 
> Anyways I hope that you like!!

Jace was fully aware of all of his feelings. 

That was one thing he knew for sure. He had accepted that he liked guys and girls at a fairly young age, and he even admitted to staring at that vampire clan leader for a little longer than he probably should have. If he was anything at all, he was aware. 

Especially of the fact that he absolutely did not like Simon Lewis. Not one bit.

* * *

The "problem," as he was calling it, started a while after the mundane-turned-vampire showed up. Jace had been perfectly content with basically ignoring the guy and finding him absolutely annoying for several months, but apparently, life didn't want him to be content. 

It wasn't much at first. His throat had been sore for a few days, an achy kind of sore that spread all the way down to the lower half of his chest. It wasn't very questionable, and he had quickly written it off as allergies or some kind of cold. It wasn't even worth activating his izrate rune. 

Normally, Jace would say that he had very good judgement, the best judgement, even, but this time, he was definitely in the wrong. 

A few days after his throat first started to be sore, he woke up to see a pink petal on his pillow. He sat up, staring at where it was, before promptly swiping it into the trash can beside his bed. He didn't think about it much, after that. 

The vampire had been annoying as ever, during this whole thing, never shutting up and never leaving him alone. Jace found that he didn't mind it too much, though, considering the fact that Clary had left him for his arguably much better looking sister. 

Not that he was upset about it, though. Like said before, he was very self aware, and that included knowing that a quick and painless break up was needed. 

He didn't mind the company, and would almost, but not quite, say that he actually enjoyed it. Even seeked it out some days. 

Only when Simon wasn't talking, though. 

Every time Simon did speak, Jace felt his chest ache and always felt a need to cough, a small tickle in the back of his throat that was fairly easy to hold back. It was annoying, and therefore Simon talking was annoying. 

See? Aware. 

Jace only really started to question what was happening to him when he walked into the Hunter's Moon one night to see Simon pushed against a wall, some random drunk seelie girl hanging onto his neck. 

At the sight, Jace immediately felt a weird need to vomit and cough at the same time, and quickly pushed people out of the way as he walked towards the restroom, practically running into a stall before promptly coughing up what felt like an entire lung into the toilet. 

When he was done, he opened his eyes to see that the toilet water was a bright red, most likely from blood, with a few pink petals scattered inside. 

He had quickly wiped his mouth, flushed the toilet, and walked back into the bar with wide eyes. 

Of course, being the independent bastard he is, he told no one what had happened, and threw away every petal he would find in his bed in the mornings. It didn't take too long for him to get caught, though, which in hindsight, was probably for the best. 

He had been back at the Hunter's Moon, taking shot after shot while the bartender, Maia, raised her eyebrows at him. 

"Rough day?" She asked, sliding him a glass of what was probably water. 

He gave a short, humorless laugh. "Try week." He moved to take a sip of the drink, and tried not to frown too obviously when he realized it was just water and not some other kind of alcoholic beverage. The reasonable part of his brain was telling him that he'd been cut off for a reason, but he would really just rather pout than listen to that voice. Pulling the glass away from his mouth, he didn't see the blood that was left on the rim, but Maia sure did. 

Her eyes widened. "Is that blood?"

"What?" He looked down to the glass, wiping the red away quickly with a napkin, as if that would erase her memory of ever seeing it there. "Psh," He scoffed. "No. Why would it be."

And, of course, as a testament to his luck, his body decided to rebel against him in that exact moment, making him double over in coughs as he held the napkin in his hands to his lips. 

Maia moved out from behind the bar to stand next to him, patting his back with a concerned look on her face. When he was eventually able to, he pushed her arm away, making her take a small step back. 

Pulling his face away from the napkin, he was ultimately not too surprised to see a fully intact pink tulip that looked almost red from how much blood it was covered in. He quickly folded the napkin in half, covering the flower, but it was clear that he was too late when Maia took another step back at the sight. 

He was definitely too drunk for this. 

"What the hell," Maia said, shaking her head as if she was shaking the memory from her mind. "Are you… are you okay?" 

Jace laughed, a small amount of blood coming out of his mouth as he did so and starting to run down his chin. "What does it look like?" 

He doesn't remember too much after that, only Maia offering to drive him home before eventually just calling Izzy. Per his request, she didn't say anything about… whatever was happening to him, but the suspicious look she gave him as he left did nothing to put him at ease. 

It took another week of him slowly getting worse and worse before he finally, painstakingly, agreed to talk to someone about it. 

"What would you do," He started, doing everything to avoid Alec's eyes as he spoke, "Hypothetically speaking, of course, if you out of nowhere started to cough up blood and flowers?" 

Alec stared at him for a moment, giving him a slightly frustrated look that he always seemed to wear mixed with a fairly large amount of disbelief. 

"...Hypothetically?" He eventually said, and Jace nodded. 

Alec sighed, rubbing a hand over his eyes tiredly before sitting back up. "I'd ask Magnus what the hell was going on." 

Obviously, Jace could tell from that point, that the conversation was going absolutely nowhere. But, the conversation _after_ that one, involving Alec's warlock boyfriend, was definitely going in a direction. A helpful one? He didn't know. 

A few minutes after Jace had first spoken, Alec picked up his phone, immediately dialing Magnus' phone number. 

They talked back and forth for a minute or so while Jace tried his hardest not to eavesdrop before Alec got right to the point. 

"So," He started, and Jace looked up at him as he continued. "What would you say, hypothetically speaking, if someone started to cough up blood and flowers?" 

There was silence on the other end for a moment before Alec's phone began to beep, and he sighed, turning it off and putting it back in his pocket. 

"What?" Jace quickly asked, "What does that mean?" 

Before Alec could open his mouth to answer, a portal on the wall across from them opened up, and Jace watched as Magnus waved off a seemingly very angry client before walking through it, a large and old-looking book in hands. 

He glanced quickly at each of them without a word, a grim look on his face as he closed up the portal and flipped through the pages of the book before stopping at a certain one and opening his mouth to read. 

"Hanahaki is a disease where flowers grow inside of the lungs, causing bleeding as they are coughed out. Hanahaki happens when intense unrequited feelings are being repressed." 

He paused, moving his gaze from the book to look at Jace. "What color are the flowers you've been coughing up?" 

He flinched, immediately starting to deny. "I haven't-" 

He was cut off by Magnus immediately flipping a page. "People experiencing Hanahaki will have a tired or exhausted demeanor from lack of sleep, as well as have a constant sore throat." He moved to look back up at Jace, who quickly moved his hand from where it was rubbing at the back of his neck. "What color are the flowers?" He asked again, taking absolutely no shit. 

Jace hesitated for a moment before answering with one word. "Pink." 

Magnus shut the book. "Pink flowers often represent unrequited feelings of romance. So," He moved to put the book on the desk next to him with a thump. "What are you going to do about it?" 

"What am _I_ going to do about it?" He asked incredulously, looking at Alec who only shrugged. "Aren't you the warlock? Help me out here." 

"The only cure for Hanahaki is either giving in to those feelings, acknowledging they exist or telling the person how you feel, or just letting those feelings fade. If you do the latter, though, there is a chance that they wouldn't fade before you die-"

"Wait wait wait." Jace cut him off, and Magnus rolled his eyes. "I could _die._ "

"There are flowers growing in your lungs, Jace." He said, voice flat. "Yes, you can die." 

"Well," Alec cut in, "Who is it?" 

Jace shrugged. He was aware. Aware that he didn't know who the hell this was about. 

"Is it Clary?" He prodded, and Jace shook his head. That one he knew for sure. "Maia?" Jace shook his head again, only able to see the concerned and fearful look on her face at the mention of her name. "Raphael?" Jace turned to look at him with a monotone expression, and Alec shrugged. "I saw the way you were looking at him at the conclave, don't look at me like that." 

"I really don't know who it is." He said, shrugging helplessly. 

"Wow," Magnus huffed. "You really are repressed. This is bad." 

Jace pulled an offended look, and Magnus shrugged, similar to how Jace had before. "I'm sorry I can't help more, but this is the only way to fix it. And I highly doubt that the feelings would fade, especially since you don't even know who the person is. They're likely to just get stronger." He moved forward to pat his shoulder. "Good luck, Jace."

Pulling up another portal, he quickly walked back out as if he never been there in the first place, taking his book with him. 

"Well," Alec started after a few moments of silence, "There's probably not that many people it could be, so let's get started." 

They probably sat there for hours, naming different people, some Jace barely even remembered the name of, and some he didn't even know that. But none of them really _clicked._

"That vampire girl? At the Hunter's Moon that one time?"

"Nah, she was a bad kisser." Alec glared at him. "What!"

"What about Meliorn?"

"No, no, no, that was just a one time thing." 

Alec raised an eyebrow. 

"It was!" 

He hummed disbelievingly, but continued anyways, reading off more and more names. 

They had to have been through at least three hundred people before Alec even dared to mention Simon. 

If looks could kill, Alec would have died a painful death the second that the first half of the word left his mouth, but even Jace knew that anything was a possibility. 

The second Alec said Simon's name, though, the click came. The one that Jace had been waiting for. And yet, he denied it anyways, because even though it clicked, it was practically impossible. 

"No, no way." He said, and Alec sighed, putting the list of people that he had written down on the floor, giving Jace a criticizing look. "I'm serious. It's not possible."

Alec tilted his head. "I thought we both agreed that anyone was possible, so why is Simon not? Are you too repressed to even _think_ about the vampire-" 

"Shut up." Jace cut him off, glaring at him harshly when he laughed a little. 

Even though he could feel the tightness in his chest loosen, the aching in his throat pause, at only the idea that Simon was the possible person, he still couldn't believe it. It was just not possible. 

Seeing that he was about to give more arguments, Alec quickly spoke up before he could. "I think it's Simon." He said genuinely, and Jace glared at him for the third time in the past minute. "I'm serious, Magnus said this was about repression and you denying that Simon is even a possibility is basically a big fucking red flag for repression. It's practically waving right in front of your face and you still don't see it. 

"I just…" Jace trailed off, crossing his arms, and Alec sighed. 

"Listen, Simon is an annoying bitch, I'll give you that, but there is absolutely nothing wrong with being attracted to him in any way. And if you say there is, I'll be offended on his behalf." He said last part with a chuckle, and Jace huffed a laugh. "Seriously though, this is life or death, so get over yourself for one fucking moment and just admit that it's him, at least to yourself."

Jace sighed, contemplating for a moment before nodding. 

He knew what he was going to do that next morning.

* * *

To say that Jace was nervous would be an understatement. 

He, for all intents and purposes, as well as in a few different ways, felt like he was going to die. 

Which, other than the part where he could actually die from the flowers in his lungs, was pretty stupid, considering that it was literally _just Simon_. It was the same Simon that he had talked to before this entire mess and he would be the same Simon afterwards. 

The only possible thing that this could screw up could be their current relationship. 

Jace liked how it was. He liked the way they could sit together in comfortable silences when no one else was around, he liked that they could banter back and forth and he liked talking to him even on the days that his chatter was starting to cross the line into being annoying. 

He just had to hope that this wouldn't fuck all of that up. 

Walking up to Simon's weird shed where he was currently living was pretty stressful, and he felt almost as if he was going to pass out after he knocked on the doors of it, but the second that Simon opened the door, giving him an awkward wave, that anxiety and stress tripled in size immediately. 

God, he really didn't want to fuck this up.

But like Alec said, this was life or death, and maybe something good could even come out of it.

"Hey," He said simply, his arms stiff by his sides. 

"Hey," Simon responded, bouncing on the balls of his feet, a nervous ball of energy, per usual. 

"So uh," Jace started, wanting to get right to the point, _needing_ to get this over with. He could feel his body wanting him to cough, but he held it back. Now would really not be a good time. "There's something I wanted to tell you." 

"Oh?" He responded, hand gripping the door of the shed-house-thing tightly. 

"Yeah," He took a small step forward. "I wanted to tell you, that I, uh," He paused, cursing himself quickly for his awkwardness before starting again. "I wanted to tell you that I-" 

He was cut off by Simon stepping forward onto the dock and leaning forward to press a kiss on Jace's lips, before quickly pulling back. Jace stared at him in silent surprise before he started talking. 

"That's what you were trying to say, right? I just thought it was, considering all the stuttering and the stalling. But if it wasn't I'm so, so sorry! But was it what you were trying to say because if it was what you were trying to say then I-" 

Jace chose to lean forward then, cutting off Simon's rambling with a deeper kiss than before, pulling back with a small smile. 

He watched as Simon began to lean forward to kiss him again, but before he could, Jace quickly pushed him backwards out of his own control, not giving him much time to question what he was doing before moving to lean over the side of the dock and coughing up what felt like both of his lungs, this time.

When he was finished, he opened his eyes that were closed before to see swirls of red in the already fairly murky water, along with five whole flowers and even more petals beside them. The ache in his chest was finally gone, and his throat felt better than it had in weeks. 

Simon walked slowly up to him, peering into the water with wide eyes before stumbling back. 

"What the fuck. Jace? Are you okay?" He asked, and Jace quickly stood up from where he was kneeling over, wiping the blood from his mouth with a wide grin.

"Yeah," He said, taking a step towards him. "I've never been better."

**Author's Note:**

> Hopefully that was okay for my first Hanahaki au!!


End file.
